Your Role as a Dad

Lack of information

Before bottle-feeding became widespread in the early 1970s, breastfeeding problems were rarely faced alone: mother, aunt, neighbour... there was usually someone around who knew what to do, could advise the new mother, help her adjust her baby's position and share their experience.
Today, women can find themselves much more isolated when facing breastfeeding difficulties. Their own mothers often did not breastfeed, and therefore may not be able to help them.

Poor breastfeeding positions can cause sore, cracked nipples, while not following responsive feeding practices can lead to engorgement... problems that could often have been avoided if the new mother had received the right information.

That's why we created our Practical Breastfeeding Guide in 2017: 23 pages of explanations and practical advice to help new mothers succeed with breastfeeding.

The First 40 Days

During the first few weeks of breastfeeding, a vicious cycle can quickly develop.

When poor positioning causes sore, cracked nipples, the mother may start to dread putting the baby to the breast and unconsciously try to space out feedings.

The fear of pain can also increase stress during feedings, which can make milk ejection more difficult.

Baby feeds less often and takes in less milk, so their weight may stop increasing.
The pediatrician, who may not have received extensive breastfeeding training, may then recommend supplementing with formula (breastfeeding + bottle-feeding).

This way of feeding can further reduce milk production and gradually lead to weaning.

Yet it is important to know that breastfeeding difficulties generally resolve naturally after around 40 days.

Baby starts sleeping better (so Mom is more relaxed), becomes more efficient at breastfeeding and naturally finds a better position. Meanwhile, the mother's body settles into a more established breastfeeding rhythm...

In short, if a new mother can make it through those first few weeks, she can then enjoy a more peaceful and fulfilling breastfeeding experience.

Unconditional Support

When you are in a lot of pain, as can happen with cracked nipples, it is easy to start seeing the pain as unavoidable and to struggle to imagine things getting better. Your role here is essential:

• First, listen with empathy, without immediately trying to offer solutions.
  There is nothing more difficult than being told that you are partly responsible for your own pain!


• Between feedings, when the pain is less of an obstacle, suggest researching possible causes together so you can find a way to address the problem.

This way, your partner will feel understood and supported, and will regain the confidence she needs to move past this difficult situation.

Getting Outside Help

She has probably heard it over and over again during her childbirth preparation classes: breastfeeding is natural. This can create the false impression that breastfeeding is easy, and that any "competent" mother should be able to manage it without difficulty.
When a new mother struggles with breastfeeding, she may therefore feel responsible. She may also find it difficult to seek outside help, worried that someone will see her as having failed.

That's where you come in: if you can see that breastfeeding is turning into a nightmare, suggest contacting a lactation consultant.

Specialized in supporting breastfeeding women, lactation consultants can visit new mothers at home, observe them in their own environment and identify the causes of the difficulties they are experiencing. Compassionate and attentive, they can give your partner the tools she needs to make breastfeeding work for her.

Find a lactation consultant near you through a local lactation support directory.